“Don’t Talk About It”
TRIGGER WARNING: This entry mentions suicide. There is nothing more important to me than being a big sister. To love them is heaven, and to lose them is hell. I’ve always dreamed of being close to them and being accepted and returning the favor. To protect them and guide them. But today, another of my siblings turned 18. And again, I wish I could explain to them why I’m not there, why my relationship with my bio dad is so strained and always has been. To tell them I love them more than they could ever know. And that this distance is torture. I’m an only child of 11. 2 sisters on my bio mom's side, and one of them I lost when my bio mom disowned me. The other I lost when my bio mom told her lies about me so I’d be hurt when I got rejected again. My bio dad is another story-nine siblings raised in a conservative Christian cult. Growing up, I kept everything secret from them because my whole life story was all taboo to theirs. How could I possi...